A Door is Shut, a Window Opens….
My father’s death had my sister shut the door on her siblings.
In September, 2016, my father passed; I was at his side in the ICU. He shouldn’t have been there.
It’s funny how timing can bring so much into focus, sharpening thought. I was going to pick up a few things at my dad’s in Carmel, and spend a few days with him before going back home to central Oregon.
Going with my dad to look at an assisted living apartment for him was not top of his list, nor mine. That said, it was convenient; pretty much across and down the street from where he was living at the time,—an apartment on my sister’s property. She was selling it, so he needed to find a new place to live.
He said he was going outside and to meet him at his car (why walk when you can drive, right?). Yep, still driving at 93, and other than a couple of parking garage posts, he managed not to molest any other parties, but then, we had him promise to only drive to his gym, church, the grocery store and the post office. There was such a thing as trying to keep him in check.
I was following right behind coming down the stairs and went outside to join him, only to see him on the ground.
Painful hip; got him in the car; went to the hospital. Phoned my brother and sister about it and said I would stay with him, as they were both a distance away and I (the oldest) had the time and could help get him back on his feet. All of us “kids” were now basically retirement age ourselves. We were generally raised in a decent family with a sound, principled and moral upbringing, educated properly, and no one had managed to get in jail yet. So, we typically had always supported one another.
Five days later, with complications and an infection elsewhere, my father succumbed, despite loving prayers. My brother who was in the Bay Area came down that afternoon and was a moral support to my settling of dad’s affairs and funeral arrangements the next day. That is when we both found out that my sister had caused changes to be made in my dad’s estate that had stood the test of decades, concerning how my parents intended to settle their estate between their three children.